Tuesday, 18 January 2011

i cried

I just received an e-mail from Dad and I cried. Yes, apparently, I can cry.

It's not sad news, really... He wrote about how Kenji is becoming clingy to Mom and yet doesn't stay inside the house at night and goes out with Mita. Kenji usually stays inside the house and sleeps with me. For those of you who don't know, Kenji and Mita are my cats. I have six cats at home.

I miss Kenji the most. He is very close to me. He strangely embodies all the traits and characteristics that the previous cats who were very close to me had. It's just so weird. In him, I see all of them. I see Poussy, Heidi, Monchi, Mimi, Luna, and even Cuplis.

He's this very clingy cat (he likes to sleep on my armpit) and I like to tease him a lot, blow kisses (and kiss) his furry tummy and just make him mad so he'd chase me around.

So yeah, I cried for the first time.

I knew I was going to be homesick sooner or later. In 2003, when I arrived in Nice for the first time, arranged the room I was give, and basked on a sofa in the balcony, just relishing the warmth of the sea sun, I almost cried. It was very quiet and peaceful and I missed home.

Now, with the internet, I could hold it for about 3 weeks. But I really miss my family and my cats.

Here, I don't really have a friend. I have acquaintances. I talk to some of them, I always play nice, but I always keep my distance with the students who always bunch up with others from their country or from other countries that have the same language. I always have the notion that I'm her to study, not to make friends. But it's always the right thing to be nice to everyone.

And I'm nice to everyone. I even say hi to every single bus driver. I even said hi to the one particular immigration officer who wasn't nice to me back in the airport.

But I can't help it. I see the positivity of Flapjack (from the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack) and Spongebob Squarepants. And I want to immitate it. I want to bring positivity and positive attitude, not just to people around me, but to me personally as I need a positive attitude in the middle of this uncertainty.

So yeah. Today, I also introduce a new label: homesick.

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