red riding hood

I've read so many versions of the Little Red Riding Hood. My favorite is the one with the evil, sadistic, and manipulative Red Riding Hood, tricking the Woodsman that the Wolf was the bad one. In the end, it was the Wolf who actually tried to protect the Grandmother.

I like that version simply because I love animals and abhor children.

Additionally, I am also a sucker for werewolf movies. That being said, I didn't even have the heart to torture my senses by seeing any of those Twilight movies. I did watch Wolfman, though and thought it was brilliant. Then again, Emily Blunt can't do anything wrong.

So naturally, I was excited to see Red Riding Hood. I mean, Gary freakin' Oldman is in it. Virginia freakin' Madsen is in it. And then Amanda freakin' Seyfried is in it. I totally ignored all the bad critics bashing the movie.

I should've taken heed of the warning.

I sat through a grueling 1 hour and 46 minute acrid fest of sweet love. I mean, oh my God. I'm eating right now so I don't really think I can write a review about it.

Let's just say that Red Riding Hood had such a promising write-up. Maybe I was a wrong target audience. I should've realized that it was meant to be yet another tween-teen-romantic-witchcraft-magic movie. Like freakin' Twilight. (Oh God, I'm using "freakin'" repetitively. I'M TURNING INTO A TEENAGER!! MY BRAIN'S A MUSH!!)

Even the lead love interest of Amanda Seyfriend's character (Valerie, alias the Red Riding Hood) looks a lot like Robert Pattinson's rip off. He's all sparkly and dark (he's so sparkly and wears all black ensemble) and he's not even (SPOILER) a vampire nor a werewolf! Well, (MAJOR SPOILER) he becomes one in the end.

I really wonder why anyone actually produced this movie. Twilight Series have a cult-like fan base. You can't rip the market by putting up another lame product. I mean, at least make the guys look a lot different than the Twilight guys. I don't think it's going to attract non-Twilight fans either because those sane enough not to like Twilight should be sane enough not to like Red Riding Hood.

And I'd like to just say this: MY GOD, VALERIE, YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE A HOT GUY BECAUSE YOU'RE BETROTHED TO ANOTHER HOT GUY. MANY OF US AREN'T THAT LUCKY YOU KNOW SO STOP THE DRAMA.

I have to balance my brain by watching a completely difficult and brilliant movie. Like The King's Speech. Forget Rango. I need my long due dose of Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter.