Sunday 24 April 2011

russell brand is funny? how?

I had the absolute misfortune of watching Arthur a while ago. The movie was not just uninspiring, nay, it was painful to watch. I cringed everytime Arthur Bach (Russell Brand's character) delivered a line, and he's the main actor (a.k.a the one with the most lines).

Arthur is a story of a grown man, an heir to a multibillion dollar company, who only rolled around, having orgies, giving free money (bailing out criminals, even), and occasionally riding in his Batmobile (yes).

Consider Arthur as a male version of Paris Hilton, with the same annoying voice.

I am too lazy to tell you the plot here, but Arthur needed to marry someone capable of running the Bach Corporation (since it's a family business). But this woman (played by Jennifer Garner), as beautiful as she is, could not even stay sober if he wants to keep his inheritance. In the end, even when Arthur had sobered up, he was still not tolerable. Consider Andrea Sachs from Devil Wears Prada (the movie) or that girl from Confessions of a Shoppaholic (also the movie): I felt sympathy at the end of those two movies. Arthur remains an obnoxious character until the end - not just because he was spoilt and all, but also because of Russell Brand's voice (and his hair. There are long-haired guys who look sexy, but Brand's hair makes me want to vomit).

Helen Mirren is, as usual, Helen Mirren (which means, "Meh"). Then again, even she couldn't stop Arthur from being a totally nauseating excuse of a movie that I saw for USD 9.

I had not anticipated that his voice would be that girlish. And yet he portrayed a straight, hypersexed, man. I mean, remember Ruby Rod from Luc Besson's Fifth Element? That guy even had ill fitting animal print and was just as hypersexed as Arthur Bach, but he fit in perfectly with the over-the-top aura of the movie. Milla Jovovich in bandage dress? If Gaultier weren't so big in fur and animal products, I'd love him more than I love Stella McCartney, but I digress. And Bruce Willis is just one of those men who become even sexier as they age. But again, I digress.

At almost the end of the movie, there was one child who asked Arthur Bach if he was a boy or a girl. That seemed so apt.

Then again, Russell Brand is married to Katy Perry, that I absolutely think lowly of.

2 comments:

  1. You are one sour ass person. Have you seen your own photo? You look like a fat chick on crack. I'd rather watch britney spears in crossroads than your fat piece of crap vessel you call a body.

    Get a fucking life. Go sit on a pineapple.

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  2. i agree with you completely! and that donkey cock sucking vomit inducing asshole that commented here is probably Russel cum gargling brand anyways, so keep up the good work because somone has to say something god dang it!

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